Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Proof of the Pudding
Even with only a rudimentary understanding of race in America, I'm as astonished by this election as are those who have lived under the yoke of the peculiarly American binary of black and white. The week I spent in Philadelphia a couple of years ago is seared into my memory. The divide between black and white, and where they live, how they travel, what they eat... all of these seemed to me to be almost caricatured in their exaggeratedness. But it's not a caricature at all: the racialization of poverty in the US is something that underlies so many other racialized distinctions between Americans. If you are poor and black (or Latino), you are likely to live in a dump, in a dangerous neighbourhood, take public transit and eat badly. Read Mike Marqusee's article on race in America here. That on top of the historical injustices may go some way to explaining the mood of the country on this day.
I hope some at least of the hopes that Obama is now carrying come to pass. For me, it's all about how he will change America's arrogant behaviour toward the outside world. He said all the right things today but we will simply have to wait and see. Perhaps most immediately, we who are not American are watching to see what he will do about Guantanamo and the Israel-Palestine crisis. I thought I saw the slightest of winces when Bono (who hasn't met a lost cause he won't take up) worked in a very deliberate reference to the "Palestinian dream" during his performance. But that could just have been indigestion from all the adulation in the air. We shall have to wait and see if Obama is anything more than symbolism.
That said, the symbolism is potent indeed. To watch a black man walk into the presidential house built by slave labour, watched by a million people standing in what was once Washington's Slave Market, referencing Lincoln in his speeches (and surely aware that Lincoln, who Americans like to think of as the Great Emancipator gave two inaugural addresses, one defending slavery that now is not brought up in polite company, and another where he broke with it)... well, this is the kind of symbolism that keeps cultural critics like me employed on cold January evenings.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
2009!
Naomi Klein has an article in the Guardian calling for a boycott of Israel: and it makes for an interesting read whether you agree with it or not. For the record, I do agree with her -- this has gone on long enough. And I don't buy the propaganda about it being retaliation for Hamas rocket attacks -- there are other and better ways of dealing with Hamas than through launching a war against the civilian population of Gaza. The morality of defending Israeli citizens against rocket attacks palls against the grim visions of the hundreds of Palestinian civilians being killed in cold-blood by Israeli forces. Also, I don't understand how or why the Israeli government thinks it can displace the elected Hamas government in Gaza by targeting it militarily: surely this is the kind of thing that strengthens rather than weakens it as a political force??? By all means launch a battle "for the hearts and minds" of the people of Gaza and explain to them why you think Hamas is a terrorist organization that should not be elected but to attack them is this is just to make them look persecuted and align them with the people of Gaza (who must, at the very least, be feeling persecuted). To my mind, this war is the definition of insanity and I can only see one reason for it: the Israelis decided that for all of Obama's hand on heart support of Zionism, they would be better off acting now when they still had "Israel can do no wrong" man in the White House. Bluergh.
In other news, not as important to the world at large but still critical, my friends at York (CUPE 3903) are still on strike and it's not pretty: as of Friday, the University has asked the Ministry of Labour to hold a supervised vote. What that means is that the Administration has decided to bypass the elected bargaining committee and take their proposal to a vote of the entire membership: under Ontario law, employers can do this once in a round of bargaining and it's usually a sign of an unusually poisonous relationship between the sides. It means that the employer thinks that the barg team isn't where the membership is -- historically, employers usually lose such forced votes (Ottawa transit workers just went through this and roundly rejected the offer). But I guess we'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime, check out a few of these videos from CUPE 3903 on Youtube. There's at least 8 of them and some of them are quite funny. And then there is some really unfunny stuff out there on the same topic too -- this is one that is not just offensive but racist.
On that happy note, I'm going to leave y'all. Will be back in the next few days with posts about travel-writing, though. If I can't actually be somewhere warm, I can still read about it and then write about it!
Monday, December 22, 2008
The Monumental
I've always had a special spot for the Reading Room here: given its storied history of Marx and Lenin, Gandhi and Kipling, it's hard not to feel that it is space steeped in the history of the 20th century. But the British Museum itself is one of those institutions that I can only ever be ambivalent about; like the Victoria & Albert -- perhaps even more so -- it can only ever have been a product of an empire and that it was so manifestly the product of an empire that I have a familial connection to makes it so much harder to single-mindedly appreciate. It is without doubt one of the world's great institutions, it has a collection without peer and yet it is somehow -- in my mind, anyway -- horribly flawed by its (metaphorical) foundations. And seeing it in this light -- cold, silent, empty -- where its sheer monumentality can't possibly be missed.
Monday, December 15, 2008
moreish
It made me think that I should have gone to see the Dandy Warhols play at the Astoria (which has to be one of most written about music venues ever). I was minding my own business, clutching the books I'd bought on Charing Cross Road when I was accosted by a guy who was desperate to sell me a ticket 'to see the Dandies for the last time....' That caught my attention but it turned out to be the last time 'for this year, yah' so I decided to take my chances in the years to come and went home instead. But hey, if I enjoyed a plastic ready-meal in London, maybe I'd have enjoyed the Dandies too. Ah well, I'll never know. Speaking of music, the only conversation I've had on the tube comes to mind: there was a lot of confusion this weekend because a number of the Underground lines were shut down for maintainence. So after being completely unable to figure out how I was supposed to get to where I was supposed to go, I finally asked a guy who was standing next to me studying the large-scale map of the underground on the wall at Leicester Square if he was from London. He was, and after assuring himself that I wasn't a maniac ('cos of course only maniacs talk to strangers on the Tube in London), he helped me figure how to get to Liverpool Street without using the Circle line. Anyway, in the process we established that I was from Canada. 'Oright, Canada. Nickelback.' It turns out that Nickelback has a new album out - or maybe it's just out here now... whatever... and there is a massive amount of advertising for this album all over London's Underground. Not moreish, I'm afraid.
Sunday, I went on a Harry Potter walk, or, to be precise, a 'The London that Inspired Harry Potter' walk organized by London Walks. I know, I know, not the kind of thing you'd go to without some trepidation but it turned out to be moreish. For a cold Sunday evening in December, there were a lot of people there and that they were all adults too made me feel less ridiculous. But we were led down the tiniest of alleyways in the heart of London, places that I'd never have guessed existed - and it must be said, places that remind you of Knockturn Alley and of Diagon Alley; we got to see the red telephone box that will let you into the Ministry of Magic but only if you know the right number to dial, and sadly, none of us did... and so on. All good fun and a nice way to spend a couple of hours in London.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Experiment in 19th century design!

The Victoria & Albert Museum
Ahem, right, back to the Victoria & Albert. I went in particular to see a small display on 40 years of the Booker prize they have up but got distracted by all the colonial bric-a-brac that fills up that space. Truly, I wonder what the British would exhibit in it if it weren't for their colonial history! The rooms just off the lobby - usually reserved for the most popular exhibits - have been the Islamic art, South Asia and East Asia collections for as I've been coming here. And it doesn't end there: wander upstairs to their 'Europe' collections and you can't help but be struck by how much of it is influenced - if not directly brought 'home' from - British expeditions to distinctly non-European parts of the world. Take the stunning silver collection - two of the most interesting pieces in there are a solid silver South Indian temple (vaguely reminiscient of the famous Madurai Meenakshi temple, with its carved and layered pagoda-style top) and a massive table decoration of an Arab tribesman on his camel under desert palms - made respectively in Madras and Cairo and 'presented' to colonial officers by various collectives of 'natives.' Collectibles like this abound here: don't even get me started on the jewellery collection! And I have to say, the curating is disappointing in that it doesn't seem to draw attention to this deep colonial history. This museum really exists because the Victorian era was the great age of empire; its exhibits are vital momentos of the (sometimes forcible) globalization of British culture that really started in that age though it may only have culminated in the post-war period.
Even the Booker exhibit should have excavated Britain's colonial history: for one thing, there is a reason that the Booker prize goes to the best British or Commonwealth novel every year; more immediately, Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children and Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things are prominently displayed. The best bit of the exhibit were the four or five books that are shown with their 'bespoke' bindings. I didn't know this but apparently books shortlisted for the Booker are handbound by selected master bookbinder from the Designer Bookbinder association for presentation to the authors. The result is a set of unique - and fascinating - bindings that try to reflect the form and content of the books. Check out the bookbindings from 2005 to 2008 here. Aren't they gorgeous? Looking at these bindings makes me want to run and read the books - which I suppose is the intent. But it's interesting that the bookbinders - for both Midnight's Children and The God of Small Things - chose to include the colonial connection in their concepts. Perhaps the V&A at large could learn something about the concept of acknowledging the hybridity at the heart of empire from this tiny - but oh-so-interesting - little exhibit.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Bookhunt!
In keeping with the looking in markets theme, my next stop was the Riverside Book market. South of the river, literally underneath the rising sweeps of London Bridge is a small - and truth be told, a generic -- lot of long tables upon which books are displayed and sold every weekend. It's the location that makes it special, not the books themselves or the prices. And as with any set of used books, you have to have the patience to dig if you want to find something worth the effort! My haul from there today included Eric Newby's On the Shores of the Mediterranean and Anthony Capella's The Food of Love. Having accidentally picked up Newby's biography, A Traveller's Life, a few weeks ago in Toronto, I'm now a fan. But I only bought the Capella book because the Hagrid-lite man who was looking after the table where I found the Newby recommended it so highly: he asked if I was looking for travel books on the Med in particular since he had one that he'd loved... and one thing led to another until I found myself saying, 'Go on then, I'll give you two quid for it.' Done, he said, and so I'm now the owner of a books whose blurbs include one from Hugh Laurie that goes like this: 'a splendid linen suit, panama hat, distant lawn-mower kind of a book; guaranteed to whisk you far fro this drizzly island, soothe you, warm you and return you home again without losing any of your luggage.' How could I resist? I'll report back.
Fortified with hot chocolate - 'special Christmas recipe with rum and cinnamon,' - I wandered through the heart of tourist London -- across Waterloo Bridge, up Charing Cross to Trafalgar Sqaure, past the National Gallery, along Oxford Street, up Marylebone Lane - until I hit my last serious bookstop for the day: the Oxfam Book and Music store and Daunt's on Marylebone High Street. I found the Oxfam last year one wet summery day when I dashed into it to escape for a rainshower and left two hours and many pounds later. It's truly a tiny little gem of a bookshop - and it's very close to Daunt's, which is quite possibly my favourite bookshop in all of London. My practice now is to go to the Oxfam store first and go through the little travel writing section they have there before heading to Daunt's and spending too much money on books that - strictly speaking - I don't need.
Today's haul from Oxfam include:
Mary Taylor Simeti's On Persephone's Island
Chris Stewart's Driving Over Lemons
Clive James' Falling Toward England
and Michael Sanders' From here, you can't see Paris
And last but not least, from Daunt's, I emerged with Adam Clapham's Beware Falling Coconuts (you've got to see where this link takes you!) and Robyn Davidson's Tracks. Not a bad haul, and (other than at Daunt's) all bought from used bookshops so I still have a few quid left for food and cider!
Yes, there is a clearly a theme to my book purchases: it's December and cold here and I'm heading back to Toronto where it will only be colder. So travel narratives about far-away places, mostly warm ones, seem to be calling out to me. So I'll leave y'all with a thought from St. Augustine (I know, I know!) : 'The world is a book and those who do not travel, they read but a page.'
Saturday, December 6, 2008
On the Other Side of Town
You'd be amazed by the number of dessicated old ladies wandering into stores along the King's Road and Knightsbridge. Or perhaps not. I mean, that's where one expects the rich to shop in London, isn't it? But to have that expectation so very obviously met means that it can't be mocked all that easily. All that is left to say is that there are clearly very rich people living (or at least shopping) in London; that the vast majority of them are white and that I truly did feel like a tourist in that neighbourhood, in a way that I haven't felt in any other part of London that I've wandered around in. I saw a couple of Filipino women, obviously nannies pushing kids along in prams, some cabs being driven by Asian men (but not many since this is not the land of cheap mini-cabs: this is where customers are chauffered in style or have Black Cabs hailed for them by doormen) and there were a black construction workers working on the endless repairs being made to 'London's Victorian Water Mains'; other than that, there was yours truly wandering along. It's an odd feeling to be so consciousness of my browness; I suppose it's a necessary reminder that not all of London is as approachable as the places I've been hanging around in.
Tomorrow, I'm checking out a couple of the markets here in the East End! Something tells me that will be less... segregated.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
In the East End... (part the first)
Just for fun, I thought it would be interesting to see how far the colonial connection goes: I wasn't surprised to find Madras Place or even Bombay St -- it's near Canada Water, for those of you who know this city; there's also a Bangalore St in Richmond, a Hyderabad Way in West Ham, and even a Mysore Road, near Clapham Junction. If I can manage it, I want to go and take a picture of the street sign for Mysore Rd. But seriously, I think it would be very interesting to see just how many colonial villages, towns and cities have lent their names in this way -- we're so familiar with the metropole-to-outpost flow of names, especially in North America with its plethora of 'New something' names but this other routing is just as interesting I think.
Staying in this part of London though is also teaching me about immigration here and the ways in which it is different from immigration into North America. One of the things that struck me almost immediately is how South Asian -- specifically Bangladeshi -- this neighbourhood is and how that identity is obvious in the clothes people wear and the ethnic enclave within which much of their lives seem to be lived in. I'm two kms away from the infamous Brick Lane (and I can't recommend the books Brick Lane (Monica Ali's novel) and Tarquin Hall's lived ethnography Salaam Brick Lane enough!) and it is obvious in between Brick Lane and here that there is a large and unintegrated community here. I don't know that this is either good or bad but even Mississauga and Brampton haven't prepared me for the large numbers of women in salwar-kameezes, hijabs, and burkas and men in a combination of long thobe, wolly socks and sneakers who walk around doing their shopping in little shops that wouldn't look out of place in working-class Bombay or Karachi or Lahore. (I will admit too that nothing prepares you to have them open their mouths and sound as though they've walked off the set of Eastenders but that's another story...).
The disturbing thing about this phenomenon -- or perhaps I should say the potentially disturbing thing -- is that I don't know that this isolation is by choice. I take the No 8 bus on my trips into Central London and could wax lyrical about how wonderful it is: it goes all the way from here past Brick Lane and Liverpool Street and the City to Oxford Circus and then onto Victoria. But while it is full of people from the Bangladeshi community when I get on and for a little while after, by the time the bus gets to Liverpool Street, it's mostly white folks heading off for work and shopping.... and I'm not sure that that's because they choose not to leave the East End or because they can't....
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The City
I love cities: the noise of traffic, the crowds, the sense of never being alone because you can just choose to be anonymous in the crowd, the public transit, the sense that you are part of a community, will you or nill you, that is always moving, always growing, always embracing differences that you can't even imagine -- these are the things that cities have going for them. And there is something about how they are always space-conscious even as they are ever-growing that makes it impossible for any scar(e) to be permanent. The Twin Towers came down but New York will build something in that space because it has to; so also here in London, those Tube stations that were bombed are up and running again and in Bombay, too, Leopold's Cafe is already open and crowded where four days ago people lay bleeding. It's not that cities can't stand still and mourn, it's that they don't memorialize a space. We could concieve of leaving behind a blighted village and just building anew over the hill, but who can imagine a great city doing that. Where would the great cities go, anyway?
I'm living in the East End of London for this month and it's an area of this city that I've never really explored before. So I'm reading about it now as I'm walking its streets trying to orient myself: it is the part of the city that I like to think I'd live in if I had the choice because it is the raw pumping heart of London, with a history of radical politics, it has seen waves of immigration (think Kensignton Market spread over a vast area), and has been through numerous incarnations. This is the only riding that has sent a Communist to the British Parliament, right after the Second World War, when it was pulverized during the Blitz. Bethnal Green and Bow is now one of the poorest and most heterogenous ridings in the country and yet it nestles up to Westminister Palace and central London.
A place of contradiction, of despair and of hope -- kinda like the east end of Toronto, of so many slums in Bombay and of Queens in NYC. I suppose when you live in a city you have to live in close proximity to other lives and that in itself is a hopeful process.
Friday, September 12, 2008
The Two Indias
The nuclear deal that the Indian government and the US was pushing for has come through and India has been granted an exemption (though I don't understand on what grounds) for the purposes of trading in civilian nuclear energy supplies though it will not sign either the non-proliferation treaty or the CTBT. And there is a large part of India that is ecstatic about this news. Again, I don't quite understand how this obscure piece of legislation affects the average Indian but so many of its younger citizens seem to have overdosed on nationalism and patriotism that they signify any kind of national event with such sentiments.
The interest in this is seen as a part of globalization and also, contradictorily, as a rallying point for those from the left (and far right) who would reject mass-produced commercial and corporate globalization but it's just kinda weird to see. And I'm opposed to the deal anyway. What's even weirder is that the Communist led "Left" parties who broke with the ruling Congress party over this issue are also casting their refusal to condone the deal as a macho, nationalist thing. They don't object to this deal on the grounds that India should be focussing on developing safer sources of alternative energy (or if they do, this is at the tail end of their platform). The main point that Prakash Karatand his buddies in the Left have been making is that this deal is a loss of Indian sovereignity, where this is solely determined by India's right (and ability) to keep testing nuclear weapons without suffering any international consequences. Am I just not getting something here or is this simply bad politics, for a so-called "progressive" party?
The contradictions are endless -- the world's largest democracy, which actually regularly elects a number of Communists to federal government is going ga-ga over the legalization of nuclear energy trading. This, in a place wherein the federal government has just mandated that anyone standing for any village or panchayat (rural) election must own a toilet! Yes, you read that right -- you don't need to be educated to any particular level or not have criminal convictions or anything like that in order to qualify to run for these small-time positions but you do need to have a built lav. This in an effort to promote sanitation in the vast swathes of rural India wherein it has not yet caught on or is beyond the reach of the people. What price nuclear energy there?
In other news, that Tata Nano project I wrote about is more or less going to go ahead although there are negotiations and negotiations-about-negotiations going on.
The aftermath of the floods in Bihar (and surrounding areas) are still devastating. As I watch saturation coverage of Hurricane Ike, I can't help thinking of the 2-3 million who have been left homeless (no accurate number of dead can yet be reported though eye-witness accounts say it will be in the tens of thousands) by the Kosi River's catastrophic flooding. There are those who make the news and those who will never merit a mention. Globalization doesn't mean a damn thing here.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
The Nano, the Nuclear Deal and the Floods
The central government in India nearly fell a couple of months ago when the "left" parties in the coalition -- ie, the communists in name and their smaller regional allies -- pulled out when the Congress party insisted on going ahead with a nuclear deal with the US. The details are incomprehensible but essentially, the deal allows for India to buy supplies to produce nuclear energy from the US. In return for such business, the US is attempting to get the world's elite nations who are part of the nuclear cartel -- aka as the Nuclear Suppliers Group -- to allow India an exemption to buy these materials legally. I'm not a fan of either the US and India (playing its regional superpower card) bullying this permission through or of the idea that a handful of nations can decide who trades in cheap sources of power legally. This country needs to find alternative sources of energy and it needs to do so yesterday!!! I do think that there are safer and greener sources of energy out there that India should be aggressively developing.
Singur. Well, this one is interesting. Last year, Ratan Tata unveiled his "car for the masses" -- a 4 door that would be produced for $2500 or so. In theory, it's a great idea. One has only to see common the family-of-four-on-a-motorscooter phenomenon everywhere in India to understand that a cheap car is a social good. The environmentalists have been screaming -- and I get their point. But public transport is nowhere near good enough here and even when it gets better, who are we to say that the mass of Indians shouldn't have the option to access to what we who have the luxury of living in the West take for granted? That said, I was also impressed by the fact that the Nano production unit was set up in Singur in West Bengal, the only state in the world that has consistently and democratically elected communist governments for over 50 years.... and where the union movement is as strong as it gets in India. But there are now major problems -- a year after the plant was established, there are numbers of farmers who haven't accepted and don't want to accept the cheques they've been handed for the expropriation of their land. Enter an opportunist political party -- not the communists who are in power and are actually backing the Singur plant -- but an opposition party who supported the farmers with protests and road blockades and we have chaos. I'm not sure where I stand on this, since I've heard a number of farmers say that they don't want their now unarable land back.... they just want things to go back to how they were 2 years ago. And the plant is providing good union jobs to a lot of people. But it's a story that has gripped the nation. More on it as it develops.
The floods in Bihar are awful. To start with, this is a have-not state in a (mostly and still) have-not nation. The hundreds of thousands of people affected are mostly small farmers and farm labour, living in hundreds of tiny villages that are remote at the best of times. The Indian army is out rescuing them where it can and herding them into makeshift camps. Honestly, this makes the aftermath of Katerina look like a model operation. The scale of tragedy in such parts of the world is unimaginable: I look at TV coverage of the tens of thousands of deaths and think about how to calibrate my grief over losing my grandmother in the face of that kind of loss. And the truth is, I can't.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Not in Kansas Anymore
Today, the big excitement is that we finally -- I hope -- have a maid again! I know how strange this will sound in Canada but it's impossible to manage in a place like this without someone to come in and do the chores for you. At least, it's impossible for me. And it's impossible for pretty much everyone I know -- of course, there's a class component to this: labour, especially women's labour is incredibly cheap here but it's also the everything-takes-more-effort setup of daily life here. Unbelievable amounts of dust come pouring into the house so it has to be swept at least once, but ideally twice, a day and the floors need to be swabbed to lay the dirt for a while. I haven't seen a dishwasher here, and there's no running hot water so imagine the quantity of dishes that pile up in a family household, with 4 or 6 or 8 people eating three meals a day and drinking numerous rounds of coffee and serving drinks and munchies to all the people who drop by. Also, there are generally no microwaves or ovens or even ranges so everything is cooked on two gas rings that run off calor gas cylinders. My family has the most antiquated washing machine you ever saw, that can only handle being run once a day (if that) because of how much power and water it sucks up -- water is "let out" by the city corporation between midnight and 3 or 4am and gets filled into a tank on top of the house. If your tank runs out during the day, oh well, too bad. I know lots of women who stay up till midnight to fill up additional buckets with water because their water tanks are too small or they're expecting guests who'll need extra water. Add things like bucket baths using hot water that's heated in an (electrified) copper water boiler, power outages at least twice a day, garbage that gets picked up only when the garbagemen feel like it, milk that needs to boiled and cooled before it can be used, and in our case, a family car that's older than ! am.... and is slowly falling apart (I kid you not -- yesterday, the rim on the inside of one door fell off!) and you get the idea of how ramshackle (my) life here is. Everything seems to be held together with string and cello-tape and I can't help worrying that the wheels are about the fall off altogether.
This isn't -- of course -- what everyone experiences in India or even in Mysore. It's possible to live here and at least inside your home or hotel room, not realize that you're not in Kansas anymore. Since the early 90s, a class that I'm going to call the New India has grown up around globalization and the tech and service industries in particular. This is a class that has access to the kinds of disposable income that my grandmother could never have imagined. They are for the most part young and English speaking and have grown into adulthood already entrenched in consumer culture. Apple's IPhone just launched in India, for instance, and it's certainly catering to this demographic. They have expensive (if usually bad) taste, drive new motorbikes or cars, eat out a lot and tend to live in the "Metros." A slightly older class of people who've benefited from globalization are those who've seen their property values go up -- increasingly, globalization has meant industrialization and the further movement of rural populations to urban centres and this new population needs accommodation. At the same time, the New India is reluctant to remain in joint-family living arrangements so there's more demand for smaller, single family living spaces. So apartment buildings -- unusual outside cities such an Bombay even as late as 15 years ago -- are going up everywhere, municipal facilities are failing to keep up with skyrocketing demand and property values in most urban locations have gone up exponentially.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Rest in Peace
So the end is here: my grandmother Kama died a few days ago. She was in a lot of pain and half unconscious for the last few days – and when she could speak, she’d said that she wanted to go – so there are no regrets from her perspective. It’s those of us who are left behind now who have to figure out ways of going on living. I’ve been lucky so far in that I’ve not had to deal with someone this close to me dying… but now I don’t know how to cope. Every morning when I wake up and remember that Kama is dead, that that’s the reason why I’m here in
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Tragedy and Comedy on Independence Day
Yesterday was Independence Day and was it ever celebrated all over the place! I've got lots to say about nationalism in the New India but that'll have to keep till I can find the videos I want to link to on youtube!
It’s been a week since we arrived in
We’ve only been here for a week but its been a critical week – I can’t believe how fast the cancer is eating away at her. I know she’d made a special effort to hold on till we got here and for a couple of days after that she didn’t seem to be in too much pain. She talked to us, haltingly perhaps, and certainly responded to us talking to her. In the last few days, though, she’s begun to sink markedly…. She seemed to spend longer and longer periods asleep, which we thought was a good sign but now the sleep is more like a stupor and I’m not sure she’s even aware of us. She’s certainly not responding to conversation or to touch – it’s heartbreaking to see her lying there more or less blankly, though this is, I suppose, better than seeing her restless from pain and in real distress. There were a couple of bad days in between when she was in pain and moaning out loud, which nearly drove me around the bend as I sat there holding her hand murmuring that it would alright when I bloody well knew that it wouldn’t ever be alright for her again.
Of course, it hasn’t all been tragedy though – I’ve been taken for a “real” doctor by one of the real doctors attending to her. Hospitals in
Great Man: “How has she been?”
Me: “She’s now asleep, sir, but she’s been in pain all morning and we’re wondering if she should be on medication for it?”
GM: “Yes, yes, what does your mother think?”
Moi: “Well, we talked about giving her Pethidine….” [
GM, nod, nod. “Yes, yes, terminal cancer patient. No point worrying about addiction. Pethdine, huh? Why not morphine?”
Me: “She’s allergic.”
GM: “Hmmm, I see, I see.”
Me: “Perhaps a 50mg dose, but only to be given when she’s actually awake and in pain?” [parroting my mother again].
GM: “Yes, yes, I’ll write it up for the nurses.”
Me: “Thank you, sir, we just want to make sure she doesn’t suffer.”
GM: “Quite right, terminal case but no need for distress. OK, doctor.”
I thought perhaps I’d misheard or that he’d just not realized what he’d said. Until… an hour later, he popped his head into the room (followed by heads of a few of the entourage) to say: “One more thing, doctor, make sure the dose is signed out from the Chief when he’s here – he handles all narcotics personally – so you can administer at night if you need to.”
Me: “Er, sir….”
GM: “That’s it, that’s all I came to say. OK doctor.”
And GM and entourage all back out while I stand there trying not to laugh.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Here and Now
Since there’s no positive change to report, I thought I’d amuse myself by recording a few of the things making the news in Mysore these days: this stuff is all gathered from The Times of India (major Indian newspaper – think Globe and Mail), the Deccan Herald (slightly more regional daily – Halifax Chronicle, perhaps), the Bangalore Mirror (sort of Metro meets Now) and the Star of Mysore (I can’t think of what to compare this to – it’s an earnest local evening paper)…. We seem to subscribe to all of them and these days, as I sit by my grandmother’s side for hours on end, reading a newspaper from cover to cover is one of the few things I can do. So:
(I should add that people go to the temple and donate their hair as a penance or out of gratitude or whatever and the temple then sells this…though I’m not sure what all that hair is used for!)
(I’m not making this one up: it’s a headline from the Deccan Herald. I’m not sure whether to be amused or appalled but since we’re in
(There have been a couple of letters protesting this in the Bangalore Mirror, which ran a cartoon wherein a receptionist was admonishing a couple obviously in desperate need of a hotel room – “Yes, you each have your ID and marriage certificates but you need to be married to each other.” Also, I really want to know about the unpremier hotels - is "security" not a issue there?!)
(I might be tempted to try the vodka spiked panipuri if I had the chance but a mango shake that has sliver of Amul cheese shaved onto it – urgh! Amul is a local brand name and it makes this (in)famous plasticky cheddar-like cheese.)
(Apparently this mall, which is set to open in September, will offer one-stop shopping with soothsayers, astrologers, numerologists, tarot-card readers and palmists all under one roof. Moreover, this is clearly just the beginning – there are plans to open “satellite” malls in other parts of
Monday, August 11, 2008
Arrival
I know it’s only been 5 days since we left
Thursday, August 7, 2008
I leave today; I'm packing light, a suitcase and some toiletries....

It's true: I do leave today and I am packing light. I didn't think I'd be returning to India this fall and certainly not to Mysore or with the shadow of my grandmother's illness hanging over me. But some things are beyond prediction or anticipation: we can only respond to things as they happen. I returned last week from New York to find that my imperious, indomitable (and I truly mean that: she was the one who ruled her family -- seven younger sisters and a brother to start with!) grandma is terminally ill; since then, I've been desperate to get on a plane and go to her. There were complications, of course, with visas and tickets but we're all set now. The Brother comes with me and we fly out in a few hours. I'm going back to the blog because it's going to be the easiest way of keeping in touch with y'all over the next few months and because I'm hoping (selfishly) that writing through my experiences in Mysore will help me to deal with them.
In the meantime, I want you to meet my grandmother, Kasturi Sivaswamy. That's her up there. She means the world to me: until I was seven, I (we) lived with her while my mom and dad bounced around the world practicing medicine and doing other doctorly things.
I know it's going to be a hard trip back and nothing like the last one but I'm telling myself that it's only during the hard times that we actually learn to deal with life as it happens and not as we shape it. I've already learnt that it's pretty easy to pack up a life: I'm on leave from SSHRCC, my place is sorted out and I have nothing else to keep me in Toronto. This is both terrifying and manifestly, a good thing right now. Also, I now know how little one actually needs to take on long journeys: "a suitcase and some toiletries," as the song goes.
Send me strength and patience, won't you all? I have a feeling that I'm going to be needing a lot of those two over the next little while.
'Bye, Toronto. At least for now.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Leaving India
That's all, folks. If all goes as planned, I leave India in about 7 hours and should be "home" in Canada in about 24.
I'll do a wrap from there -- call me paranoid but I don't want to do it here and now.
Cheers y'all!
A
Sunday, March 2, 2008
East and West
If you’re a reader of postcolonial fiction you’d probably assume that the flow of peoples these days goes in only one direction: from East to West. Literary fiction is full of the tales of those who dream of going from
But things are slowly starting to change: where once the culmination of most young university students’ dreams was to leave for greener pastures, now it seems as though most young graduates dream of landing a job in